Finish What You Start

What do these verses have in common?

Luke 14:28-30 "For which of you intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? Lest haply [perhaps], after he hath laid the foundation, and is not able to finish it, all that behold it begin to mock him, Saying, This man began to build and was not able to finish."

I Corinthians 12:23 "God is not the author of confusion, but of peace..."

Eight years ago, we bought a fairly large, well-built, 100 year old house. We could only afford it because it was so ugly. The previous owners did a lot of "remodeling" that was in very poor taste. Also, the kitchen was in the back of the house and had the appearance of a dungeon. When we bought the house, we had two children ages two and six months. Now we have five. I am not slothful, but I have a very hard time finishing what I start. There are a lot of projects started and only a few finished. The most problematic incompletion is the kitchen. It is functional, but it lacks cabinets and it looks really bad. It was started three and a half years ago. In those three and a half years, we have had two children with two difficult pregnancies, my wife got shingles twice, an elderly relative moved in for a few weeks, etc. etc. Most people would say that, with everything going on, it is justifiable not to have the kitchen and other projects completed. However, as the leader of my family, I should persevere and complete the projects. That is where I Corinthians 12:23 comes in. "God is not the author of confusion, but of peace..."The messier our house, the more chaos and confusion there is in it. If God is not the author of confusion, who is? Obviously, Satan is. Satan loves to cause problems in families. My disobedience to the Bible on what seems to be a small issue; starting a project without quickly finishing, is causing chaos, confusion, and consequently disobedience in my children.

While we should not make idols of our houses, they should be centers of hospitality and also the primary training ground for our children. These are much harder to accomplish when the house is in a state of upheaval.

Now that I realize that I have been sinful and disobedient to God's word, and my disobedience has caused problems in my family, I must ask God and my family to forgive me, and with God's help, do something to change. God giving me grace, I will work together with my family and persevere to complete the projects one at a time before starting another one. I need to count the cost and see if I have sufficient time and resources to finish what I start.  

 

 

Sinfulness Equals Misery

"Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin, and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned." Romans 5:12 

Question #30 of the Westminster Shorter Catechism asks, "What befell our first parents when they sinned?" Answer: "Instead of being holy and happy, they became sinful and miserable."

As fathers, God has called us to raise our children for their own good. When a child sins, he is going against God. A child cannot be joyful in this condition. We are often tempted to ignore sin in our children saying to ourselves, "It was just a little thing" or, "My child is too young to understand" or, "I will deal with it later". Sin is a big deal. It is offensive to God and it should also be offensive to us; both our children's sin and our own.

 Back to the answer to the catechism question...
"Instead of being holy and happy, they became sinful and miserable."
It is not always easy to know if an action is sinful or not, but when a child is miserable, it is easy. There is sin involved. If a child is sick, he is uncomfortable and in pain, but he does not have to have his joy taken away and have it replaced with misery. Just remember Paul and Silas being beaten, thrown in prison, and put in the stocks. (Acts 16:23-25) What did they do in this condition that most people would call "Miserable"? They were no doubt uncomfortable, but their joy was not taken away. (Verse 25) They prayed and sang praises to God. If a child needs comforting, then comfort him, but do not help Satan take away his joy by indulging his sin. Deal with it.

Train Up a Child God's Way

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

This verse is almost always used when the subject of parenthood is discussed, and for good reason. Our actions as parents have long term, even potentially eternal, effects on our children, either for good or for bad. Almost always, this verse is used to encourage parents to train their children in the ways that God commands.  Then, later in life, the children will still be godly. It is certainly true that we should train our children in the ways of God. As those children grow, they will often remain faithful into old age.  However, I believe this verse is also a warning to parents.  The key is the words, "the way he should go".  What are the ways that a child will go if left to himself with no guidance?  He will be foolish, selfish, unkind and lazy.  These things are not just a stage of life that all children go through and then grow out of.  Later in life they may "refine" them and make them appear more respectable to others, but they will still be there.  It is our job as fathers to train up our children in the ways that God would have them to go and not the way our children want to go.

Two Proverbs that say something similar are Proverbs 22:15 and Proverbs 29:15

"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." Proverbs 22:15

 A lot can be said about this verse.  All I will say for now is that foolishness is the default position.  If we do nothing, that is what we will get.  We need to take action in order to remove the foolishness from the heart.

"The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother shame." Proverbs 29:15

Do not leave a child to himself!  Use not only the rod, but also reproof.  That takes much more time and effort, but the reward of raising godly children is well worth it.